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GROW AS WE GO: MUSIC VIDEO
GROW AS WE GO
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Ok, so I love playing the cello. I love writing music. I love sushi. But I have a special kind of love for being a dad. So much joy. And, to be honest, so much pain. Maybe I should say “growth.” Whoever said “no pain, no gain” could have been talking to a therapist about raising a teenage girl. I was talking to a friend about this and he stopped me mid-sentence and said,
“Hey, remember this: You raise boys and you live with girls.”
I laughed, but then I thought about my little Lucy. When she was born my heart grew bigger. And when she first winced at strained peas, took her first step, when she first mumbled the word “Daddy,” and when she played her first violin recital -- each time my heart grew again. Then things started to change. As she grew, her emotions started to outgrow her capability to process them. In what seemed like a blink of an eye, a cute little mumbled “Daddy” mutated into,
“You’re the worst dad ever!”
She didn’t mean it. But maybe I was a little worried she was right. My heart seemed to shrink back. As more change came I didn’t know how to handle the mood swings. I didn’t always manage them very well. There were times when I wanted to just avoid her or distance myself altogether.
One day when she was in a moment of inexplicable “rage” I swallowed my own temper and said “Lucy, what’s wrong? How do I help?” She blurted out, with tears in her eyes, “I’m mad and I don’t know why. I just wish I wasn’t.” My heart grew bigger. I went over to her and wrapped her in the warmest hug I could manage and simply said, “I love you. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
In that moment, I discovered that during all those times I wanted to distance myself, I should have been even closer. Not to “fix it,” like we men love to do, but just to be there.
She is going through so much change. I can change too. I can be better. We can change together. Right next to each other. That is the message of this song. Ben Platt wrote it beautifully as a plea to a girlfriend not to break up with him. We wanted to perform it as a plea to our daughters that we’re not going anywhere; that we love them without contingency; that their changes are beautiful and inspire better changes in us. We can grow as we go, side by side, along this crazy capricious journey called life. Savanna, Sarah & Lucy, we love you.
-Forever, Your Daddies